Organically Inclined

So, I am innocently watching the morning news the other day (on one of my two TV channels) and there is a story about the miracle drug that’s going to help people lose weight. Now, I have no interest in such a pill, but I am always interested in the next miracle that the FDA has approved, so I paid attention.

Alli, the reporter stated, keeps the body from absorbing fat. Hence, making you thinner. One woman claimed to lose something like 37 pounds in 6 months.

A while back, Matt (my oldest, he was probably about 9 at the time), saw a TV commercial for a pill that was supposed to help you quit smoking or something. And he said, “Do they have a pill now for everything?” And I remember saying, “Not yet, but someday…”

So Alli is supposed to enhance your current weight loss replace it (blah, blah, blah). OK. But apparently it does this by not allowing your body to absorb fat. The Alli web site puts it like this: “The active ingredient in alli attaches to some of the natural enzymes in the digestive system, preventing them from breaking down about a quarter of the fat you eat. Undigested fat cannot be absorbed and passes through the body naturally. The excess fat is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it in the toilet as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.”

Gross.

The reporter in the story I was watching recommended - get this - that you take an extra pair of pants with you when you go out because it’s not just like having to run to the bathroom all of the time - apparently, and I’m sorry for being graphic - the fat can “ooze” out of the only place fat can ooze out of.

The people at Alli say that if you don’t eat fatty foods, this effect won’t happen - so it’s just another way it helps you control what you eat. They also suggest keeping a food journal so that you can keep track of the foods that have you running for cover.

I think that if their point is to get me to eat salad all of the time, which has no fat in it, then what’s the point of their drug? They clearly state that the drug won’t work on the enzymes that absorb carbs. So…

Eat salad, eat some fruit, eat whole grains. Avoid paying $50 bucks for Alli - and avoid those embarrassing runs to be bathroom. Frankly, any diet plan that recommends I bring spare pants with me when I go out is not my idea of a good plan.

For more on Alli go to: www.myalli.com