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The Madness is Over…

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Posted on 27th December 2007 by Mish in miscellaneous

Christmas is over and while we were far from the $100 holiday, we are still debt-free and able to pay our bills come Jan. 1. So, I am happy about that. It was a difficult shopping year. I really had a hard time buying things, especially toys, because I know how they end up. My test for toys this year was to not buy anything that I knew I’d be sweeping off the floor in July and throwing away! That’s difficult with a three-year-old, because there is just so much that I know he’d get a momentary thrill out of. While I did buy him some cheap, plastic crap – it was crap I knew he’d love – race cars and in particular, anything with Lightning McQueen. He’s in love with that movie and race cars in general. Also, rocket ships – so he received several versions of flying vehicles.

For the big guys though, the presents were tiny, but expensive. It really bums me out to spend $350 at a place like Best Buy and only get a tiny little bag out of the deal. I feel like I should have had bags and bags of stuff – but an iPod Nano and a Sony Netcam are little items. Fortunately, the boys just loved them! And the teens just wanted the cash to blow as they see fit. So, that’s what I did. Christmas is, after all, for making a few wishes come true!

My wish was to get out of it with my sanity intact and no stress about keeping the lights on. Mission accomplished (well, the lights will stay on, anyway…:-)

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The $100 Christmas? Well, not quite…

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Posted on 17th December 2007 by Mish in miscellaneous

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I did some Christmas shopping over the weekend. I decided to suck it up and brave the crowds – and we did, my daughters and I. But it was some of the most difficult shopping I’ve ever done, because I couldn’t just buy anything. I kept looking at all of the cheap, plastic crap and would think – “yeah, this will be broken in a week” – or “I’ll be sweeping this up off the floor in May.” Not to mention the fact that my children just don’t want that much. That’s one of the great benefits of not having television – they never see the commercials for all of the cheap plastic crap that they used to “need.”

Now, my 3 year old is difficult because I do want to buy him everything, but I have to stop myself and remember that there is a very real joy curve when it comes to Christmas. There is the Christmas Eve build-up. We open one small gift and talk about Santa. Then there is the sheer thrill of Christmas morning when the littlest ones come downstairs and see all the gifts under the tree. We open stockings and eat candy for breakfast and then start to pass out gifts. But how many times in the past have I made my little ones wait to assemble things until everything was opened? And then they get exhausted – or overwhelmed – and the thrill is gone. And now we’re just crabby.

How can such a wonderful day turn out so badly? Well, I believe it’s the joy curve. A small child peaks out with joy after just a few gifts. And last year, I decided to take advantage of it. We bought just a few, well thought out gifts for each child. We assembled and put together as we went along. We enjoyed the morning.

And you know what? We had a great time. We enjoyed each other and the gifts we each received. We spent less money, ate more food and had a wonderful time all around. My kids said it was much more fun than the frenzy that had ensued the year before when our whole family gathered and there were more presents than anyone could handle. They liked it quiet and laid back, they said.

We also didn’t go into debt. I didn’t sign up for one credit card – even to get the 10 percent off. Because really 10 percent just isn’t worth it. So not only did we have less madness – we went into the New Year debt-free.

Now, I’ve read bill McKibben’s “Hundred Dollar Holiday” and while I agree with many of the principles, I’ll never be able to get out for $100. But I’m OK with that. I like the magical part of Christmas where you receive things that you don’t get in the normal course of your year. I like to surprise my children and see their faces light up when I get them something truly cool. But I will not go into debt for it. And I will never again buy stuff just so they have more under the tree.

I always ask my kids at the beginning of the holiday season, “If you could only get one thing for Christmas, what would it be?” And it really makes them think.

We also spend a lot of time doing family things (not that we’re not pretty close already). We make it a point to load up in the car and look at lights; go to a fun family movie (quite a splurge for eight of us!); and we bake a lot!

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Party of Six: In Defense of the Large Family

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Posted on 14th December 2007 by Mish in attachment parenting

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Strolling around the children’s section of one of my favorite bookstores, the overly cheerful clerk popped up in front of me. She smiled at me and then looked at my very large belly and asked the inevitable:

“Is this your first baby?””

Now, I could be polite and just nod and move on my way, but what is the joy in being pregnant (besides the growing new life stuff) if you can’t shock the heck out of someone once in a while?

“No, it’s my sixth,” I said, as nonchalantly as I could. If I had been smart, while I was pregnant with “Number Six”, as she affectionately has become known (especially when I can’t remember her name), I would have carried around a small camera just to catalog the facial expressions of those who were shocked by this number. My poor sixth child may not get many pictures of her in the scrapbook, but can you imagine the day when I bring out the “facial reactions” scrapbook and show her the multitude of people who were shocked that I was pregnant – again…?

“Six?”” The clerk says in that usual tone of admiration and disgust. “”Wow, you’re brave. I guess you don’t need any help then.”

Actually, I could use a lot of help – the mental kind notwithstanding. I look at my dinner table sometimes and I’m shocked. Our dinner table is the type that came with leaves for the middle, you know for holidays and the like. All the leaves are in our table now – all of the time.

Why six? It’s one of the questions I get asked the most and of all of them, it’s the most difficult to answer. Really, I have no idea. I’m not a particular fan of pregnancy. The first five months for me is generally spent either on the couch or in the bathroom. And I get quite whiney toward the end when my abdomen is often mistaken for the Goodyear Blimp. But quite often, I get the feeling that someone is missing and after doing a quick head count, I realize that the missing person hasn’t been born yet.

Could it be as simple as the fact that I like kids? I do. I just like them. I like to hang out with them. I like to go places with them. I like to talk with them and I love how their minds work. When I sit in a group of parents and listen to them lament their lives of driving around to games and recitals and lessons and school functions and wish for the day when their nests will be empty, I am dumbstruck (and that is rare). I like to do those things. I have a big car (practically a bus) for a reason. I think it’s funny to watch people’s faces when we all get out and go somewhere – we look like the clown car in the circus, there is always one more coming out. I love that I can field my own basketball team.

Is life always so happy? Of course not. Sometimes I want to scream because I have to be in three places at once or it’s just too damn loud on a rainy summer day.

And while I know there are those who mock me and wonder how I could feel good about contributing to the overpopulation of the world, I also know that my kids get a lot out of being one of six. There’s a lot to be said for learning how to share. There’s a lot to be said for understanding that there is only a finite amount of hot water or granola bars and that we can’t have everything we want all of the time. In being a part of their own little community, my children have learned about over-consumption, sharing resources and being a part of a team.

My kids don’t complain about hand-me-downs and they understand that I can’t buy them “name brand” clothes (at least, not from the store – they can have all the name brands they want from yard sales!). In fact, they don’t even ask for them.

So, if you see me in the grocery store – I’m the one with the baby on my front, a toddler in the cart, two kids each pushing a cart, one running around getting the things I forgot and one grumbling like an old man behind me because I wouldn’t buy Frosted, Pop Em Ups with the prize inside. Be assured however, that yes, they are all mine…and who knows? I might begin to think another is missing.

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A Little Poem…

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Posted on 14th December 2007 by Mish in attachment parenting

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I don’t know who wrote it, but if you do, please let me know!

“Cleaning and cooking can wait for tomorrow,
For babies grow up, I’ve learned, to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs, dust, go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.”

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