Organically Inclined

I have avoided writing about the “socialization” of my homeschoolers for a very long time. Mostly because I think it’s a dumb argument. Sorry – am I being too blunt? Just because I educate my children at home (I actually do not like the word homeschool, as it denotes that I would do something like a school – when I strive for the opposite), does not mean that they are unsocialized wild children. I do not keep them in a box, isolated from all of humanity.

In fact, my homeschoolers have more of a social life than I do – OK, that’s not saying much, but you see my point!

Once upon a time, when I first took my then-youngest child out of school, a teacher came to me and said “I can see why, academically, you’d take him out of school, but what about the social aspect?”
Um…excuse me? Did you just say what I thought you said? Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t the original intention of school to educate children? To concentrate on the academic stuff? Oh, right, I forgot, the original intention of school was actually to help create good little factory workers and give a place to keep kids until they were “old enough” to work…but more on that another time.

I hardly think that the social aspect is a valid reason to send children to school. And what about the social aspect of school? Do I want to send them there so they can learn to behave badly? So they can want more and more stuff that their “friends” have? So that I can be subject to the torment of the Queen Bee moms in the PTA? I think we all have better ways to spend our time.

My children are nicer when they don’t go to school! They are nicer to each other and nicer to other people all around. They are led by the example we intend for them to live.

Theodore Roosevelt said, “To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.”

I believe this to be wholeheartedly true! I know what can happen when children are left to follow the example set by their friends. Even in our very small town, where gang activity might not be rampant – there is certainly a premium set on stuff – and the defiant, apathy is even more prevalent here.

My daughter, who is the only one of my children who goes to high school (she was allowed to make this choice before I was as steadfast as I am now), was drilled throughout her middle school years on bullying and “being nice to others” and she was trained in all sorts of “group” activities designed to make her and her classmates have more self-esteem. I don’t know how many of my tax dollars went to these activities, but I will tell you this: She didn’t know who Paul Revere was! I mentioned him at the dinner table because the boys and I had been reading about the Revolutionary War. Lydia couldn’t tell us anything about Paul Revere. Even after I yelled “The British are coming! The British are coming?” She informed me that she had never studied the Revolutionary War. She will be a 10th grader this year! And she never heard the name Paul Revere? She’s been at this school since the 5th grade – you would have thought it would have come up! I gave her a couple of books to read….

I believe that my homeschoolers get wonderful opportunities to be social. They participate in the plays of local towns, they play sports, they sell things at the Farmer’s Market. My 10-year-old volunteers at the public library and works with his Dad at his office. My 12-year-old maintains a huge network of friends from summer camp and from town. He volunteers at a local nursing home as well. They take classes, like pottery, with a local homeschool group. All in all, they are the most social people I know.

I believe that kids should be friends with people of all ages. Limiting their friend network to those who are their own age is short-sighted. Who among us adults only hangs out with people who are our age? Probably very few. In fact, most of us probably hang out with people we share a common interest with – either through our jobs or through our hobbies. This is a practice that the public school seems to discourage. But of course I want to hang out with other crunchy, homeschooling, ap mamas who like to read and write. I even have friends who aren’t very crunchy and friends who are downright Republican. But none of them, none of them are the exact same age I am – none of them would have been in my high school class.

Something even stranger? I live in the town in which I went to high school. I see people all the time who were in my high school class. I don’t like or hang out with any of them! How odd is that? Not very, as it turns out. Shouldn’t they have been my best friends if the school system had their way? Guess age isn’t a great way to choose friends after all!

I think it is very valuable for a child to learn how to “get up in the morning and go to work,” as it were. My children are not free to do as they wish at every moment of the day! We have chores. They have studying to do. And work to do. And commitments with which to keep up. We have busy schedules. But we also have time. Time to study things in depth – or skim over and get to something else.

I always said that I never enjoy just exercising. I do a lot of exercise in my day. I hike up to the blueberries and I hike through the woods. I garden and mow and play basketball with kids. I even do a little yoga because it makes my back feel stronger. But I hate the idea of exercising just for the sake of exercising. I like that my exercise has a purpose. I don’t lift weights, but 9 months out of the year I bring 5 or 6 loads of wood into the house. I also carry bags of grain for the chickens. And I shovel manure out of the barn. Let’s not also forget that my walk to the mailbox is quite a hike as well.

I feel the same about school. My kids know when they are learning something they won’t ever use…or have no interest in. Homeschooling for me is about making life have meaning. There’s a reason we learn these things – if only to be able to beat Dad at Trivial Pursuit one day!

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