Organically Inclined » family

10 Ways to Save Money Right Now

Mish — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 12:00:16 +0000

I’ve posted this one before – but it seemed very appropriate right now – so here are a few things to ponder…and please comment if you have something to add!
1. Fix-It. Don’t throw out your old VCR, DVD player, washer or whatever it is that just broke. Fix it. I recently saved our VCR (we still like videotapes) by simply removing the top and cleaning the insides with a Q-Tip and some rubbing alcohol. Not to mention the fact that no one seems to sell just the VCR anymore. I’ve replaced belts on old dryers and handles on old axes. Stop throwing away stuff just because it’s broken! Now, we did get rid of an old microwave that stopped working, but I didn’t buy a new one – we got along just fine for three years without one. Then, I came along a perfectly good one, for free, that someone was giving away.

2. Don’t go out. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. The best way to save $50 on any given weekend is to not go anywhere! Just stay home. Make up a good lunch for yourself. Watch TV. Take a walk. Don’t leave the house and you won’t spend any money! It’s one of the best tips I ever learned.

3. Do all of your errands at once. You will save gas and time for the rest of the week by hitting all of your errands during the same trip. Plan out your route and go in the most efficient way as possible. You’ll save gas and time in your week. You’ll also spend less because you’ll be sick of wandering around stores and will want to just get what you need and get out. Less browsing that way!

4. Cancel your cable TV. I know, I know, what? Am I insane? No. I don’t have cable – or a dish – and when people come to me and say, “I don’t have any money. I’m broke at the end of the month.” It’s the first thing I ask about. If you are broke – or in debt – and you are still watching cable, you are not doing everything you can to save money. The same is true for high-speed Internet access. We have a dial-up connection that costs $12.95 a month. And if I need high-speed, I can get it for free at the local library. I can even bring my own laptop and use their connection. Cable TV is a luxury – not a necessity.

5. Make something. Anything. You can save yourself almost any amount of money by making something for yourself. I needed mittens for my then two-year-old. Going to a place to buy just mittens where we live entails at least a one-hour round trip to even a discount store or thrift store. Plus getting everyone in the car, going to the store – for one pair of mittens. It wasn’t the cost of the mittens, but the fact that they were going to cost me a lot of gas, plus the time I’d lose. What did I do? I knit a quick pair. It took me all of an hour – less time than it would have taken me to get everyone in the car, drive to the store and back. I got to sit in my cozy house during my toddler’s naptime and knit. It was less stressful and since I already had a bunch of yarn, way cheaper! And the mittens turned out to be much more durable than any pair I have purchased! So you don’t want to knit? Make those new shelves out of the scrap boards in your basement, or tie an easy quilt out a couple of old sheets, the possibilities are endless – and you’ll feel all the smarter for doing it yourself!

6. Ask yourself the “question.” Do I really need this? When I go shopping with friends, particularly around the holidays, I find myself (and my friends) frequently picking up cute little knick-knacks. “This is so adorable,” we say. But where my friends might throw the item into their cart, I stop and ask myself: “What am I going to do with this when I get home?” Is it just another little thing that I’ll put on a shelf and have to dust (if and when I ever dust anything?) Is there any function for it? Will I get any lasting enjoyment out of this cheap piece of whatever? 99.9 percent of the time, the item goes back on the shelf.

7. Use what you have. I ran out of cleaner for the bathroom one afternoon a long time ago. Rather than head to the store, I decided to see if there was anything I currently had that would clean my bathroom. I had some baking soda and vinegar in my pantry. I seemed to remember hearing that those items could be used as cleaners. I experimented a little and soon had a clean bathroom and newfound knowledge. Spend a little time looking through the things you already own before heading off to buy a new whatchamacallit. You’d be surprised at how many things you can transform into something else.

8. Cash is King. My husband always says this and frankly sometimes it drives me batty! But he’s right. Shop with cash only. Not your credit card, debit card or checkbook. Those items make it too easy to go over your pre-set spending limit. Sure, you say you won’t go over, but you will. Inevitably there will be something extra you forgot – or just have to have. Don’t do it. withdraw a certain amount of cash before you grocery shop and take along a calculator. Usually, I leave my wallet at home and just take my drivers license with me. If I don’t have it in my pocket – I can’t spend it. I may only come home with a dollar – but at least I know it’s not my last dollar!

9. Trade for it. I once bartered an old car for my wood for the winter.

10. Don’t always buy the cheapest thing. What? But what about being frugal? I buy myself one new pair of shoes – my everyday shoes – about every five years. I buy really good, brand-name $100 clogs that I love and that are very comfortable. And I wear them until they die. I’d rather do that then buy a cheap pair of uncomfortable shoes every six months – or less. I like them, they look good, and I wear them almost everywhere. I also have a pair of snowboots (Sorels, $80) that I’ve had for 13 years and a pair of garden clogs that I splurged on for those wet mornings out in the garden – and mud season.

Technorati Tags: family, frugal, money, saving

No Container Babies- 5 Reasons to Wear Your Baby!

Mish — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 11:00:16 +0000

There is nothing I hate worse than to see a mom or dad lugging their baby around in the car seat in a store. I can’t believe a mother would rather lug 12 pounds of baby plus 15 pounds of car seat in an uncomfortable position, like a bucket of water down to the barn. It breaks my heart – the baby is usually bundled in the seat, head rocking and bouncing as the seat bangs into the leg of the person carrying it.

Why wouldn’t you want to hold your baby? Babies smell good. They’re cute and funny. And when I have one, all I want to do is hold it – and when I can’t, I bundle her into a sling and carry her around. And when I can’t do that (like when taking a shower), I make sure that someone else who loves her is holding her. My God, they are only this little once – and it goes by so fast. Once it’s gone , it’s gone – so don’t waste it strapping them into car seats (unless they are actually in the car) or swings! Hold your baby! When they’re teenagers, they won’t let you near them ( and really, they’re not as cuddly as teens, I have two teens and a “tween” and I can verify this fact)!

1. Baby wearing is convenient. I’m wearing and breastfeeding my baby right now – even as I write this! Really? Yes. Really. I can do almost anything I need to do while wearing my 3.5 month old baby…except the dishes, but I find other reasons not to do them too!

2.Babies who are worn in slings or carried cry less. There is a lot of anthropological and scientific evidence of this fact, but I’ve had six babies, so far, and of the six the only colicky, constantly crying baby I had was the one I was encouraged to put down all of the time! That was my first baby. Since then, I have either held or worn all of my babies. Kiara – the latest – gets complimented all the time on being such a good baby. I think they mean quiet. And she is. During basketball games or other outings, she just sits in my lap and looks around. She rarely fusses. In fact, when she does scream, it’s usually because I’ve put her in the car seat for a trip.

3. Babies who are worn, learn more. Yes, another scientific fact! Babies who are worn spend more of their time in quiet alertness. Because your baby’s needs are being met, she doesn’t need to spend so much time looking for attention and therefore can sort out the puzzle around her – learning to adapt to the environment, seeking things to look at, etc. Researchers have also reported that carried babies show enhanced visual and auditory alertness.

4. Worn babies are smarter. OK, this might just sound like I’m bragging, but this has been proven true outside my own household! Because the mother or father of a worn baby acts like a filter, the baby is guarded from unwanted stimuli that can bombard their wee nervous systems. They also develop their ability to listen very early and therefore their language and development abilities are cultivated earlier. For example, if there is a loud clanging in the house (the toddler knocks the pots off the dish rack), a baby alone in a swing or seat will likely respond by startling and then crying. A baby in a sling, next to her mother, will still startle, but because mother is nearby, will see it’s just a noise and that she is still fine – quickly soothed by mom. The startle then becomes a learning experience that the baby is not so afraid of the next time….rather than being “rattled” every time a loud noise occurs.

5. Worn babies sleep more! Especially in the beginning. I’ve rarely felt sleep deprived, even as a new mother…and when I have it’s usually because I spend the night excitedly gazing at my new love. Wearing a baby keeps them close – think of yourself like a Kangaroo. There is a great saying – nine months in and nine months out. Thinking of the gestational period of the baby as being 18 months makes it easier to reconcile.

Technorati Tags: attachment parenting, baby, babywearing, breastfeeding, family, mothering

Breastfeeding, Pumping, the Mommy Wars continue…

Mish — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:46:16 +0000

Recently, a fairly well-known author, Judith Warner, wrote on her New York Times blog commending Hanna Rosin for speaking out about how much, according to them, breast pumps suck (pun intended).

Warner’s article: http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/02/why-i-dumped-the-pump/ and Rosin’s: The Case Against Breastfeeding published in The Atlantic (a publication I used to like a lot).

Rosin’s article is a bit more blatantly anti-breastfeeding than Werner’s, but the effect of both is still the same. They are both not just encouraging women to ban the breast pump – but heralding women who say “screw it, I don’t care if breasts were made for feeding babies – my husband wants to use them!”

Very strange.

I think what is the most upsetting about these two articles (if you can call them that, Rosin’s in particular is very poorly researched), is that they seem to confirm the belief that breastfeeding isn’t better for children. In fact, Rosin goes to great lengths to try and get us to believe that formula might actually be equal to breastmilk.

The convenience of bottle feeding argument is also getting a little old. How many times do we nursing moms have to explain that it is NOT easier to bottle feed. Bottle feeding requires doing more dishes, sterilizing bottles, mixing formula – not to mention the purchasing of formula, which is expensive.

Breastfeeding is simple: lift shirt, baby eats. It’s sterile, portable and always at the right temperature.

Basically, what Rosin says is that she got sick of breastfeeding. To paraphrase, in her sleep-deprived state, she found something online that said the results of breastfeeding’s benefits were “inconsistent.” “The seed was planted,” Rosin says. And then goes on to read the results of studies that assure her that breastfeeding is only a “little” better than formula feeding. Rosin then goes on to say that the benefits to babies from breastmilk are often overstated – a claim that inspired the American Academy of Pediatrics to write to The Atlantic and rebuke Rosin’s claims.

I am also highly offended of Rosin’s claims that because I attach breastfeeding to my frugal nature, that means, that my time is worth nothing:

Breast-feeding exclusively is not like taking a prenatal vitamin. It is a serious time commitment that pretty much guarantees that you will not work in any meaningful way. Letâ€™s say a baby feeds seven times a day and then a couple more times at night. Thatâ€™s nine times for about a half hour each, which adds up to more than half of a working day, every day, for at least six months. This is why, when people say that breast-feeding is â€œfree,â€ I want to hit them with a two-by-four. Itâ€™s only free if a womanâ€™s time is worth nothing.

My time breastfeeding, staying home and schooling my children, even cleaning or doing laundry isn’t worth nothing. Just because that is how I choose to spend my time, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth something to my family. I believe it is worth a lot – as does my husband who is happy not to have to spend the money he earns on a second car, a cell phone, child care, formula – or any of the other gazillion items that children will require when both parents can’t be home – not to mention the take-out because I’d be too tired to cook.

While the breastfeeding part of this issue really upsets me, because I believe children are entitled to breastmilk the same way they are entitled to clothes and a place to live, I am really offended that Rosin continues to perpetuate the “Mommy Wars,” by saying that somehow I matter less because I choose to stay home and do these things.

Further, the idea that she doesn’t breastfeed her son “slavishly,” is even more offensive. Being a mother is nurturing, loving, supporting and while sometimes it does feel like we get left behind, if we remember that most women take on those roles of support – even in the workplace – we can rest assured that even a paycheck doesn’t determine our maternal nature.

Technorati Tags: bottlefeeding, breastfeeding, family, hannah rosin, judith warner, kids, mothering, parenting

Practice Present Parenting…and Smile

mishakennedy — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 13:37:05 +0000

I had a wonderful time at the beach with my kids last week. I was sad that all of my children weren’t there – my oldest son Matt recently got a new job and had to remain home to work. I was, however, proud of him for taking it well and being so willing to work (and take care of the house and animals while we were gone).

There were, of course, plenty of stressors on our trip. There was the 10-hour car ride; staying with my parents; very hot days; a four hour ride to the beach later in the week; staying in a hotel room with five children; sand in my bed…sunscreen in my nose – you name it! But I had fun! And it wasn’t because of the dinners out or the air conditioning or the fact that there were so many activities the kids were never bored. It was because I focused on viewing our vacation through their eyes. I was “in” Jack’s joy as he ran in and out of the surf – or discovered the most beautiful rag tag seashell you ever saw. I walked slowly up the boardwalk – at Jack’s pace – with Kiara on my back as we investigated every sign and played every video game.

I didn’t have a lot of money to “blow” but I took my luxuries in afternoon naps in the hotel room listening to the ocean while the kids chilled out before dinner. Or in sitting on the balcony and watching people walk by.

But at the same time, I was disturbed by a lot of what I saw.

I listened as a young mother yelled at her two year old (ish) son to “Hurry up,” in the potty and I listened as he wailed that he couldn’t go that fast. Then I watched her drag him back out into the lobby of the rest stop. Meanwhile, I was still standing in the stall of the bathroom where Jack told me to “turn around” while he went to the bathroom, so ended up talking to a stall door for 10 minutes.

I watched as sweaty child after sweaty child was pushed and pulled to “walk faster” and yelled at to “put that down” or “pick that up.”

Let me be clear, the place we went is a vacation destination…rarely are there people there who are not in vacation mode. You aren’t going to be running routine errands on the boardwalk. So, why all of the pushing and pulling and hurrying up to have fun?

I have no idea. It seemed so insane to me. Was I really supposed to yank my sons off the beach, where they were having a perfectly delightful time, because it was “time” to go have “fun” doing something else?

I know it’s hard sometimes to be patient as a parent. People get crabby. I am crabby often! However, it’s essential that we learn to remove ourselves from the equation when reacting to something our child is doing.

I used to hate mundane tasks like washing dishes, folding clothes or weeding the garden. Not just dislike – HATE! I avoided it at all costs. I made my kids do it. I volunteered to do other chores if someone else would do those. They were so boring. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it and could only get through them with music blasting.

Then I read a book where the writer had been to Plum Village, a retreat led by Thich Nhat Hanh. He encouraged smiling while doing the dishes. I thought that sounded dumb. Smile? What good is smiling going to do? It’s not going to wash the dishes any faster.

But, one afternoon, there was momentous pile of dishes of to do – and no child over the age of 3 in sight! So I settled into to do them and then, remembering what I had read, I looked out my window and smiled. Self-conscious, but determined, I continued to smile and realized about half way through the dish pile that I didn’t seem to mind doing the dishes. In fact, I was enjoying – enjoying? – myself. It seemed impossible. But there it was. I had been concentrating so much on the smile – and probably how dumb I looked smiling – that I my hate for the task at hand had vanished. I scrubbed and rinsed with a new silly smile on my face and have volunteered to do the dishes (most nights) ever since. I’ve also, in the past few years, started to enjoy the peace and quiet of weeding in the garden or folding laundry on our big dining room table while chaos surrounds me.

What does this have to do with parenting? It’s simple – it’s about finding joy. Taking myself out of the equation is essential to family harmony. If Jack (who is 3), is pounding on the piano, I could get really irritated because he is disturbing my peace. However, looking at it from his point of view, my getting angry is disturbing his joy! So, now when Jack pounds the piano, I smile. I try and find his joy.

When my 10 and 12 year old boys are arguing, I usually try and stay out of it, but sometimes they bring me right into it. Rather than freak and send people away (which I’ve been known to do), I try and smile and have them each sit. Rather than sentence each of them to their own separate space (which is probably what they’d prefer anyway), I have them talk and then find an activity they can do together.

Last night, Jack woke up from a fitful sleep screaming because he has pink eye and his eyes were stuck together and he was just feeling cruddy overall. Because he started screaming, Kiara (9 months) woke up…crying. And then, in an effort to help me my husband John walked over but accidently kicked a glass of soda over! Ugh! I could feel the anxiety building up in me. I just wanted to yell. I did actually have to yell at Jack once, but that was just so he could hear me, his eyes were almost completely swollen shut and he was screaming so loud he couldn’t hear anything!

So, I sat there, with a screaming Jack on my lap, a crying Kiara next to me and my husband running for a towel which he thought he was going to use to mop up the soda, but it turns out we are going to need it for Jack who has decided he needs to throw up!

Believe it or not, I smiled. Not meanly…just smiled…and I relaxed almost immediately and was able to calm Jack down with a glass of water. Then I was able to calm Kiara down with a snuggle and a boob. As soon as I relaxed, I was able to focus and move on.

Smiling helps. It calms. It gives you the ability to see the big picture and move past your own ego. Sure, there was a part of me that wanted to put both kids on the couch and run out the door. But what does that show my children? That when things are hard or stressful they should bail?

So, when chaos abounds (as long as it’s happy chaos) or spills happen or someone pees on the floor or someone pukes on you or you’ve come home to a pile of dishes or they all happen at once…just smile – at least a little.

Technorati Tags: baby, family, kids, miscellaneous, mothering, parenting, zen

Book #12 – The Big Book of Happy…

Mish — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 16:56:49 +0000

Have a toddler or preschooler? I spent this past winter compiling 500 games and activities to keep them busy, learning and having fun! I hope you’ll enjoy them.

Want me to sign one and send it out to you? Just email me at michelle@organicallyinclined.org and I’ll send you the info to buy one or send me one you’ve already bought. By the way – this offer is good with any of my books!

Technorati Tags: activities, big book of happy, books, family, games, homeschool, kids, michelle kennedy

gDiapers Coupon giveaway!

mishakennedy — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:36:42 +0000

THIS OFFER IS NOW OVER – BUT THANKS FOR VISITING, AND WE HOPE YOU WILL VISIT OTHER PAGES ON THE SITE!

`Michelle

Hey! Want to try out gDiapers? I love them. I don’t sell them or anything – I just love them and I am trying to spread the word. gDiapers have these great cover designs and the liners are flushable or compostable! How cool is that? And if you run out of the liners, you can throw a cloth diaper in the cover. Seriously, I’m a convert. So much so, that I emailed gDiapers – told them how much I love them, and they sent me 50 coupons for $2 off to give out to anyone I wanted. So – do you want the coupon? Just send me an email and I’ll mail it to you. What do I want in return? Healthier babies and a healthier planet. (and if you want to link or tell your friends about OI, that would be great too:-)

So email me – michelle@organicallyinclined.org – and I’ll mail out the coupon. Super easy. And I’ll post here when I run out.

Thanks!

Misha

Technorati Tags: baby, cloth diapers, family, gDiapers, kids, mothering

The Family Bed, Revisited

mishakennedy — Thu, 29 May 2008 13:44:26 +0000

A Blast from the Past

Co-Sleeping is better, overall, for moms and babies. It allows moms and babies to sleep better and comforts babies in a way that is unparalleled by sleeping alone. If you have had questions about co-sleeping, check out this post from last year. And please, tell us your stories of co-sleeping – we’ll post them if you like.

Technorati Tags: baby, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, family, family bed, mothers, nursing

Cold Cereal Ban Update

mishakennedy — Wed, 28 May 2008 10:47:36 +0000

It has been about 3 weeks since I instituted the complete ban on cold cereal and here is what I have noticed:

My teenage daughter still thinks I’m a loser for instituting the ban (but she would have found something to think I’m a loser about regardless).

My 3 year old son hasn’t asked for cereal in over a week.

There has not been one cereal bowl left out on the desk, in the living room or anywhere else (for some reason my kids believed that cereal was “portable”).

We used to go through a gallon of milk each day – sometimes more. $3 a gallon (if I buy it in the “big city” and not in town) x 31 days in a month=$93 a month in milk alone! I went to the grocery store last on May 17 for our middle of the month trip. I bought 6 gallons of milk (thinking they would last about a week). I still have a gallon and a half left to last until Friday when I will do the monthly restock.

So, not only have I saved about $80-$100 a month on my grocery bill for breakfast cereal – I’ve also more than halved my milk budget – $18 every two weeks is $36!

I’m amazed! No, really. I just took my $600 a month grocery store budget and cut $164ish out of it. And we didn’t lose anything. We still eat breakfast every morning! How cool is that?

Cereal – it’s a bad thing.

I might be able to afford the gas to get the grocery store now!

Technorati Tags: budget, cold cereal, family, food, frugal, groceries, milk

Frugal and Green Tip of the Day – Eat Less Meat

mishakennedy — Tue, 27 May 2008 12:44:37 +0000

Or none at all. While I, personally, am trying to eat none, I will admit that it is a difficult habit to break. And not because I’m a big steak eater but because of two small things – hot dogs and bacon! I have a lot of baseball games to go to this time of year and there is always a hot dog vendor…I’m weak for a good old (gross, yes I know what’s in them) hot dog!

Bacon on a Sunday morning is my second failing. If my husband starts frying bacon with pancakes first thing on Sunday morning, I am out of bed and probably two pounds heavier. I’m also a sucker for a good BLT. But I digress.

I am trying to eat less meat. I rarely serve it as a main dinner dish anymore and we eat it less and less, but a Saturday BBQ with friends is hard to give up!

So, why eat less meat?

Well, aside from the health issues, which have been well-documented, according to Compassion in World Farming :

“Factory farms pollute the neighbourhood with slurry run-off into nearby waterways and produce noxious gas emissions, contributing to climate change.
Toxic ammonia fumes from factory farm sheds can affect farm workers’ health.
Livestock production accounts for 18% of all (human-induced) greenhouse gases.
It takes 100,000 litres of water to produce 1 kilo of beef, but only 500 litres of water to produce 1 kilo of potatoes. Water scarcity is a major global problem.
Since the 1960’s approximately 200 millon hectares of tropical forest have been destroyed, mostly for cattle grazing and growing crops for animal feed.
Overgrazing – keeping excessive numbers of grazing animals on the land – is contributing to a rapid increase in global desertification.”

In the same space required to grow the amount of beef necessary to feed one small family of four, a farm could grow diversified crops that could feed hundreds for the same length of time.

We are committed to trying to raise some of our own meat (chickens, lamb and pigs in some years) and to buy our meat from other farms like our own – highly diversified and not in the “meat business.”

Mostly, we’ve been eating a lot of veggies, rice, beans and pasta – which perfectly suits my frugal nature as well!

Technorati Tags: family, food, frugal, green, vegan, vegetarian

I Am A Mom – Feminism Revisited

mishakennedy — Fri, 16 May 2008 12:27:25 +0000

By Michelle Kennedy Hogan

michelle [at] organicallyinclined.org

When I was 14, I was never having children. Not one. And I wasn’t going to get married either. I was going to be a politician. I was going to be the President. In my head, being a mother and being the President were mutually exclusive. Not being a woman and being the President. At 14, being a woman was a mere bump in the road to my future fame.

Because my maiden name is Kennedy, I spent a great deal of time in my teen years reading about those other Kennedy’s. The famous ones. My hero quickly became Robert F. Kennedy (he still is), but after reading a number of books, I found a book by Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy (JFK and RFK’s mother). She had nine children. And while she had lots of maids and nannies to help, she was a very hands-on mother.

I found myself fascinated by this kind of parenting…and the large family. While I still denied it to the world at large, I knew, somewhere in my heart that this is what I wanted to.

By age 20 the urge to have children was almost impossible to deny. While I still considered myself a feminist with a political agenda, I happily had my first child and just assumed that I would “put him in daycare” while I finished school. Then I held him for the first time. And I looked in his confused newborn eyes. And I smelled him. And I realized that there wasn’t any way that anyone else was going to get to hold him – much less raise him! The bond was so strong already in those first few minutes that I couldn’t imagine ever giving him over to anyone else.

So I didn’t. I stayed home and had two more children fairly quickly. Then I had a number four. And thought I was “done.”

But I wasn’t. After several years as a “working” mom – as opposed to a lazy, stay-at-home one, I guess – I decided that my place really was at home and I became pregnant with numbers 5 and 6.

Even though I was where I wanted to be and I had become reasonably successful in my writing career, I still felt conflicted. I couldn’t rectify my image of feminism with my image of motherhood. Further, I felt conflicted by my roles in the world – and how I wa viewed in the eyes of others. While I wish I could say that how others viewed me didn’t matter much – I would be lying. I felt – still feel – acutely the judgment of others when I tell them that I stay home with my children.

What a strange justification to have to make! Until about 30 years ago, staying home with one’s own children was a no-brainer. Most moms stayed at home with their children. Who better to raise a child than the child’s mother? No one even considered any different. And then came feminism and bra burnings and whatever else. And women were suddenly not only encouraged to break the glass ceiling but to leave their children behind in order to do it.

Let me be clear. I am not condemning women in the workplace at all. But when did it become the norm to leave the children behind and go to “work”? When did mothering itself become such a disdained position?

I hear little jokes all of the time about mothers who stood up to someone who said, “oh, you’re just a mom…” and replied that they were domestic engineers or whatever. Why? Why can’t “mother” be an adequate – if not revered – job description? Why do I, when asked, what I do “for a living” reply that I am a writer? Why does that make me feel more justified in staying home with my children?

Why is it more accepted now for mothers to go to work and leave the care-giving to someone we pay a wage (not a very good one…) to?

Why is it unacceptable for little Janey to say that she wants to be a mom when she grows up? Why can’t that be a reasonable ambition? Why does she have to say that she wants to be a doctor or lawyer or astronaut in order to be deemed worthy in school these days?

Those who know me, know that I have a thing for classified ads. I love to ponder jobs and career paths untravelled. In my life I have done a lot of things to make money, but I’ve had only one true career – that of mother. And I get to exercise a lot of my unchosen career paths during my tenure. I am a writer, yes, and have made good money doing that work. But I’m also a nurse, a teacher, a farmer, a maid, a lumberjack, a chef, a chauffeur, a veterinarian and much more.

I can’t imagine getting up every morning and driving the same 30 miles to the same cubicle with a picture of my children on the wall…for something like 20 or 30 years of my life.

I know many moms who say that can’t imagine staying home with their children all day – it would be so tedious and boring. Really? I’ve never had so much fun. Imagine going to work everyday for 16 years (that’s how long I’ve been at it now) and truly enjoying your job. While it’s not always fun and games and some of it is tedious and boring, it’s never not important.

I love my varied and interesting life. I love spending time (pretty much all of it) with my children….even when it’s boring.

I’ve been struggling lately, trying to understand the nature of my life. I’ve been trying to figure out why I haven’t accomplished more than I have. Why haven’t I done more to help the world at large? Am I selfish to just stay home with my kids? Shouldn’t I be doing something? What is my contribution? And is it enough?

And then I realize how much I am doing. By trying to raise children who are hopeful, learned, tolerant, patient, loving, eco-conscious and much more, I think I am sending out a little ripple of hope to the big world. I want my children to epitomize the joy I have in raising them. And hopefully, even if that’s the only contribution I make, it’s enough.

Technorati Tags: attachment parenting, family, kids, mom, mothering